we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
