yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
