I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
