i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
