There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
