there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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