My brain says no but my pants say off.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
