I wanna bring you to show and tell
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
