it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
