Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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