this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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