You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
