Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
