Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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