I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
two words...techno handjob
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
