I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A+ Viking dick
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
