I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
