so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
