Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
