I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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