No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
