so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
