I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
