She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
