...so i touched it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
