apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
