did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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