your room smells of hookers.
And success
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
