I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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