is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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