he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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