your thong is hanging out like whoa
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Four minutes until I can fart!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
