grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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