i barfeds in our rink
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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