and you said cock pushups were impossible
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drake has all the answers
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
