just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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