tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
