is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
