Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
