Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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