well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think your dad took our porno
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
