We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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