Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
