Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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