were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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