Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
