Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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