Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
