tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
