If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
