Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
