I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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