k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
