A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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